4th day(?)

Guess I'm going to blog a little more now... I can't seem to concentrate on my work, even though I should; math test coming up, a lab report I have yet to finish writing, my speech for ASA elections...
I feel like I can't really grasp on to this life I'm living in. Everything is beyond my control. The people I depended on are all so far from me. Bad luck seems to just keep swimming my way, as if saying "You've had 20 years of good luck; it's about time we come around."
College life is always busy. But with all that I'm going through at the moment I'm not sure I can handle being myself anymore. I see myself drifting from someone friendly, always smiling and helpful, to someone who's constantly in a bad mood, smiles only when she has to, and not trying to get to know anyone anymore. Maybe it cuts a load off of what I usually have to do. I don't have to try to get to know anyone, I don't have to use up my time helping others, and I don't have to pretend to be happy. Unconsciously trying to make more time for myself, maybe?


I just want my life back.


The person who yearns for good grades, always going somewhere to have fun with friends, and always laughing at something random that pops into her head seems to be dying away each day.

I just want some rest, keep the bad thoughts out of my head, and learn to trust and be happy again. If the world can stop spinning so fast for just one minute...