my unpredictable luck!

Who knew that a forgetful person like me can have such good luck stem from my bad memory!?

Here's how it started:
This morning, I woke up later than I should have, and was in a hurry to leave my apartment. I grabbed whatever I needed before I left; my business clothes for Asian Student Association's Appropriations meeting, my keys, my fruit snacks since I didn't have time for breakfast...

I got into my car and drove away to class only to realize that I left my phone somewhere! I remembered seeing it in my room, so it was either still at my apartment, or stuffed deep inside my book bag along with a bunch of other crap. After my Accounting lab, I walked over to the library and sat there for a few minutes to check my e-mail and look through my bag to see if I might have stuffed my phone in there only to find my planner which I have not opened in 4 days!
I decided to open it up just for the heck of it, and realized that I had signed up for an internship interview with Hercules pulp and paper company! You probably wonder, "well it'll be okay... She can apply for other interviews." WELL GUESS WHAT!? Dr. Byrd said that if I do not show up to an interview, MY NAME WILL BE TAKEN OFF ALL THE OTHER INTERVIEWS THAT I SIGNED UP FOR! A fate worse than death! Oh, the shame I could have caused upon my family name!!
All I could do was print out two copies of my PSE resume and head on to my next class.
AHHH I was in a state of shock as I was walking to my Calculus II class; I didn't even have time to stop and talk to people I normally talk to before class! I just wanted to be done with math, run to my car to get my business attire, change, then run to my interview! I checked my laptop before I left to do any last-minute research and e-mail checks, only to find that THE APPROPRIATIONS IS THIS THURSDAY, NOT TUESDAY, but boy, was I glad I made this mistake. I had business attire ready for today!

The interview wasn't my best one; I felt unprepared even though I did some research on the company and jotted down a few questions before I went. It just felt rushed. I still hope they would give me a chance though!

But anyway, the point of this post is:
I'm GLAD I forgot my phone, which led me to search through my bookbag, which led me to find my planner, which led me to remember that I had a JOB INTERVIEW.
Also, I'm GLAD that I got ASA's Appropriations date mixed up, therefore I had an extra set of business clothes ready for my interview!
This is the first time I've ever been thankful for my horrific memory!!!

Oh, ANNND I had time to do my webassigns! And all this before my ASA board meeting! WHOO GO ME!

From Metaphorical to Literal (at least by human standards)

Just a random post, since I have about 15 minutes before heading to my lab.

It wasn't exactly easy switching from business to engineering. Although my business major required math and statistical analyzing, it was still the biggest change I've made since I started college.
I was originally this musical student who had an interest in writing and art; I was the artistic one of the family, having taken music and art classes since I was three and a half (not that I was good at it; I was just surrounded by it). Once I got to high school, business became a part of my life once I joined the Academy of Finance. It wasn't that big of a switch; the marketing part of business demanded creativity and innovation. I utilized and preserved my artistic mindset through advertisement and the art of public speaking.

Once I switched over to Paper Science and Engineering, everything was like a new language for me. I slowly had to relearn a whole new way of thinking. I had to be analytical of every single project given to me. From working with my classmates, even the words from our homework that gave us directions were looked at from all areas to ensure the right way to answer the questions. Nothing was metaphorical; I don't break down paragraphs I know by trying to figure out the writer's message to me. Everything was right there; I just had to understand it and follow it exactly as it was set. The only thing I can't help is my horrific memory, which is an extreme setback to my possible career as an engineer.

I once believed that nothing was literal; everything had its own meaning and can be solved as long as it makes sense to you.
In engineering, it has to make sense to EVERYONE for it to be accepted.

It's not impossible for me to think this way. Guess I just need to work on it :\

This is something I must perfect. People tell me all the time to stop comparing myself to others, but how can I not when so many people are better than me at my major? This isn't high school, where everyone can be lazy and still past; this is my preparation for the rest of my life. I may not need to be one of the best to get somewhere, but I need to be one of the best to prove myself to be competitive in order to be one of the firsts considered for a top position. Ah, lord help me with this goal.

Internship Interview and more

I just came back from my very first internship interview! It's with International Paper!! I should find out in two weeks if I get it... ahhh so nervous...
I guess it wasn't the best idea to let my interviewer know I was a little nervous, but I eventually got more comfortable with him, and guess what! He was a band parent! How awesome was that!?? We connected on marching band level! :)

Well, Alex leaves for New Orleans today. Not quite sure what to say about that. Despite what people think, Albert was never my first love. He did too many things that were wrong for me to ever have loved him. It was more just my friendship and care that pulled that relationship out for so long.
Neither was Alex. He was good to me for a certain period of time. I never realized to what extent the efforts he put in until it was too late. I do not agree with some of the things he did, though. We have different ideas on what was right and what was wrong, and because of that, our roads took us somewhere completely different from each other.
[11/14/2011]
With each relationship, one shouldn't feel like one wasted time; instead, one always gains something with each relationship. If it's good, it leads to love and marriage. If bad, it still leads one to know more about themselves.
It's time I break away and try something new.

Bad Luck Continues

So yeah. In my last posts, I told about how I would try to change my luck around. Well, it seems to be unpreventable to the point where others might start to find it humorous, so every time I'm caught in bad luck, I will post it on here.

Today's bad luck:

After the gym, I come back to my car to find a ticket on my car for not parking in the right place EVEN THOUGH THE SIGN SAYS I ONLY NEED A PARKING STICKER FROM 9-12PM.

God only knows

"You're stupid."
"I don't care. You would do the same if you love someone."

Well now. This is what happens when you don't listen to your best friends.

I can't believe I waited three weeks just to hear this.

I had such high hopes for what was to come; maybe late night movies! Or maybe going to the mountains with Megan and Tray! Maybe he can go with me to my Paper Science events too!

Stupid idiot.

Foolish is the one who lets the heart do the thinking.

For whoever reads this (I doubt anyone does except THAT ONE PERSON), I don't think anyone would understand just how painful it was for me tonight. I tried to force myself to stop crying. "You have class tomorrow!" I told myself. "Your paper science excel sheet isn't even done! Think of what's important!"
I couldn't seem to steer in that direction because I was thinking about how much I have shamed myself by letting all my pride go away.

I'm going to gain it all back.
Starting this week.
No one can take my luck away from me.
This is the last time I will let bad luck strike my way.


"離開你 我安靜的抽離 不忍揭曉的劇情
我的淚流在心裡 學會放棄"

Can't take ME DOWNNNNN

Back in high school, I would cry once every semester from the stress. My mind and body would not be able to handle it and I would break down and let it all out. This year, it seems as if life is trying to make a fool out of me by throwing all these unfortunate events my way, as if seeing how much I can take.

I ain't gonna cry today. You can't make a fool out of me. It takes much more to take me down.

4th day(?)

Guess I'm going to blog a little more now... I can't seem to concentrate on my work, even though I should; math test coming up, a lab report I have yet to finish writing, my speech for ASA elections...
I feel like I can't really grasp on to this life I'm living in. Everything is beyond my control. The people I depended on are all so far from me. Bad luck seems to just keep swimming my way, as if saying "You've had 20 years of good luck; it's about time we come around."
College life is always busy. But with all that I'm going through at the moment I'm not sure I can handle being myself anymore. I see myself drifting from someone friendly, always smiling and helpful, to someone who's constantly in a bad mood, smiles only when she has to, and not trying to get to know anyone anymore. Maybe it cuts a load off of what I usually have to do. I don't have to try to get to know anyone, I don't have to use up my time helping others, and I don't have to pretend to be happy. Unconsciously trying to make more time for myself, maybe?


I just want my life back.


The person who yearns for good grades, always going somewhere to have fun with friends, and always laughing at something random that pops into her head seems to be dying away each day.

I just want some rest, keep the bad thoughts out of my head, and learn to trust and be happy again. If the world can stop spinning so fast for just one minute...