Can't take ME DOWNNNNN

Back in high school, I would cry once every semester from the stress. My mind and body would not be able to handle it and I would break down and let it all out. This year, it seems as if life is trying to make a fool out of me by throwing all these unfortunate events my way, as if seeing how much I can take.

I ain't gonna cry today. You can't make a fool out of me. It takes much more to take me down.

4th day(?)

Guess I'm going to blog a little more now... I can't seem to concentrate on my work, even though I should; math test coming up, a lab report I have yet to finish writing, my speech for ASA elections...
I feel like I can't really grasp on to this life I'm living in. Everything is beyond my control. The people I depended on are all so far from me. Bad luck seems to just keep swimming my way, as if saying "You've had 20 years of good luck; it's about time we come around."
College life is always busy. But with all that I'm going through at the moment I'm not sure I can handle being myself anymore. I see myself drifting from someone friendly, always smiling and helpful, to someone who's constantly in a bad mood, smiles only when she has to, and not trying to get to know anyone anymore. Maybe it cuts a load off of what I usually have to do. I don't have to try to get to know anyone, I don't have to use up my time helping others, and I don't have to pretend to be happy. Unconsciously trying to make more time for myself, maybe?


I just want my life back.


The person who yearns for good grades, always going somewhere to have fun with friends, and always laughing at something random that pops into her head seems to be dying away each day.

I just want some rest, keep the bad thoughts out of my head, and learn to trust and be happy again. If the world can stop spinning so fast for just one minute...

China So Far

Today was my first time since I left China at age 6 that I rode a motorcycle back to my apartment. When my parents and aunties heard, they were shocked and told me not to because it's dangerous; I could easily fall off, be more likely to be in a traffic accident (it's China after all), or even be kidnapped (-__-). It is, however, half the price of taking a taxi (I didn't take one because I couldn't find one >_<), and I just felt so free zooming through the streets! I don't see how it's so dangerous since my mom used to take it all the time. She's fully against it now (O_O?)... sigh I guess I'll give up taking motorcycles instead of taxis... for now. hehehe...

Well, so far, I've been to the expo, and here's what happened:
1. tourists kept complaining about our tour guide, yelling at her and making me feel really bad for her
2. My parents and Allison's parents got into a heated argument with a military soldier, causing an uproar in the crowd (SCARY!)
3. My brother told me this old man from Nigeria was checking me out. Grooosssss

Kareoke bars have been updated!! NEW SONGS TO SING!!! I was so happy! I sang Train's Hey Soul Sister, a lot of Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Alicia Keys, etc etc omg FUNNN!!!

But nowadays, apart from shopping and working out, I've done nothing but watch my soaps. So many awesome soaps! My favorite currently is "Hi My Sweetheart". It's so adorable!!! AHHH! I wanna find me a mushroom head! Well... maybe not, but if I find someone as nice as him, definitely! heehee ^_^

That's all for now!

Randomness

So, here I am, posting again.
I'm procrastinating, yet again, because I'm stuck on this question for my online economics lab, and I have no idea how to answer it... Perhaps the answer will come to me? Nah... Gotta do some thorough searching... But I'm not up to it right now! I feel like blogging!

Today was my Chinese test. I did alright on the speech part. It was the recording and lab part was the only part I had problems with, not because of me, but because my partner was sick that day and couldn't come. I was put in a group of two other guys. It's hard when you're in a group where one is cooperative and the other one isn't. We did end up finishing it, although I must say, I will no longer feel sympathy for my other partner when he isn't able to do well in Chinese class. I don't know if he knew he came off as rude, but my other partner and I were quite annoyed most of the time while trying to get along with his ideas. For the sake of my test grade, I held my honest thoughts inside.

I guess it's back to work. I must keep telling myself, only one more week until I'm out of school and back to China! I must do my best!!!

Note of Annoyance

I keep seeing this happening more often.

This is growing into an epidemic. It's becoming a COMPETITION of WHO'S GOT IT WORSE than friends helping each other. It's more of "You think you got it bad? Listen to what I have to say and let's see you complain!" instead of "Aw, bro, I'm sorry, I'm here for you. Maybe I can give some advice?"

When a friend is going through a bad time, shouldn't you be there to help them? Listen to them, give them some advice, give them a shoulder to cry on, you know the deal. Instead, what do I see happening more often? here's how it goes:
"You think you got it bad? Well listen to MYYY LIFE it's SOO MUCH WORSE"

First of all, for those who are constantly acting this way, NO ONE ASKED ABOUT YOUR LIFE. They're going through a bad time, they want comfort, not someone else trying to one-up their situation. They don't CARE about how BAD A TIME you had that OVERSHADOWS THEIRS. It's not about OVERSHADOWING. It's about BEING A FRIEND AND HELPING.

Second of all, what kind of a friend does that? This shows signs of uncaring, selfish thoughts of how you don't care much about your friends, and only want to tell them that you have it worse and that you don't want to listen to their problems.

This is totally my opinion, but I really do believe I'm right in this situation. If your experiences don't help someone that's in a rut at the moment, what's the point of telling them? Yes, we get it, you've got it bad, but that wasn't what your friend needs. Your friend needs sympathy and hugs.