Crystal

Today, I saw on my honey's facebook status the lyrics to that one Bone Thugs-n-Harmony song called Crossroads, which for some reason sounded really familiar... then I remembered why.
I posted a little sad smiley face with a tear on it as a comment to that status update, remembering the day I heard that song for the first time.
Traver calls me and asks what that song reminded me of...
I answered by telling him how I went on Joseph's myspace after Crystal's memorial, and that was the song he left on his myspace for her. It took a bit of restraining for Traver not to hear me almost cry. I then told him about the dream I had a few days ago where I saw Crystal again... I didn't go into details with him about it, but I remember Crystal was there. She had a headful of blonde hair that we all remembered. She was clearly alive. I was overwhelmed with emotion to where I started crying in that dream.

It's surprising how much it can affect a person. I bet Crystal never knew how she touched so many people's lives, how many people remember her and miss her after she left this world. I myself was surprised by how much I miss her. We weren't close like Megan and me. Sure, we were friends. We talked, shared experiences, said hi whenever we saw each other, laughed at the same things... but I was like that with many others. I didn't know I would be so affected by her death the way I am now.
It's hard for me to acknowledge the fact that she's no longer in this world. Sometimes I tell myself that maybe she's still here: she's in hiding for safety, because it's top secret government business. Haha... I watch too many movies...

Crystal was my friend. And she passed. Even now, I can't really accept that she's gone.
She can't experience what my brother and I are experiencing now... college, parties, books and magazine articles that are continuously being published for us to read, new foods to taste, new wonders in the world to see...
I sometimes wonder where she has gone after she left this world.